I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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