I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
