I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
