You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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