Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I believe in your delicious
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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