Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
