Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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