Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
worst night to have a conscience
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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