i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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