dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Two words: blizzard sex
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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