I accidentally had phone sex last night
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
