I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
