nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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