I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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