you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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