***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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