Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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