oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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