ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
