the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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