Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
