You're so nebulous sometimes
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
