Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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