I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize