The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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