take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
