How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize