Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
