its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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