you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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