Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
