is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love having hate sex.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
