I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
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I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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