He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
