I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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