so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
