the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
