well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
