"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I could fuck to npr.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
