Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
