If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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