Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
