If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
