You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
