I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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