i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
