I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
