Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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