Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
