My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
