Just mADE A PArabola og urine
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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