Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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