I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
