It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We left an ass print on the piano.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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