Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
MIDGETS
????
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
