pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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