Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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