Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize