i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
