so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
