do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
