I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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