No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
