I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
