with your own penis?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
